Sorely Needed Sequels

Sometimes game developers are stupid, cruel, greedy people. Sometimes they’re just unlucky individuals at the mercy of these sorts of people. Either way, there are times when we gamers get our cynical little hands on a mind-blowing title that makes life beautiful. Once this game has been completed, most of us eagerly await some sort of sequel so that are lust for closure, content or both can be satisfied. Only the sequel isn’t announced. So we resort to replaying the game yet again, and once every single microbe of replayability has been squeezed out, we look up, and to our utter dismay, we find that the sequel hasn’t arrived. Slowly, regretfully, and very painfully, we realize the sad, unjust truth. The sequel isn’t coming. Your new favourite franchise is ended, and closure will prove forever elusive. You cry.

Or at least some of us do. Here are a few games that came to mind when I sat down thinking about which of my favourite games needed a good sequel, off the top of my head.

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Warcraft 4

I wish I could give all the hours I spent playing WCIII to the people at Blizzard, because then they’d have more than enough time to make at least 2 more sequels. Though they’d probably spit in my face and make another WoW expansion instead. Ugh.

Warcraft 3 was a rare breed in the sense that it used the RTS genre in order to tell a long, engaging story in a satisfying way, filled to the brim with engaging characters, gorgeous cinematics and fascinating lore – for its time at least; it really is ancient now. The lore and general atmosphere was successfully conveyed in WoW, but they lost that special charm that the traditional Blizzard story-telling method gave WC3. Plus, you didn’t have any monthly subscription fees in WC3 – which is very important to me. All in all, the Warcraft universe is just too nostalgic, cosy, charming and engaging to fade away with WoW, so I think it’s time to move on with the franchise and start a new project, i.e., WCIV.

Just the thought of a new Warcraft RTS with all the graphical goodies of the modern age makes my mouth water…

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Deus Ex: Human Revolution 2

Right, when it comes to Deus Ex, there really isn’t any rush. Human Revolution wasn’t so long ago that the franchise is truly aching for a follow-up, but let’s face it – a Deus Ex sequel would be pretty damn awesome. If I’m not entirely mistaken however, there is now a movie in the works, which is the second best thing I suppose.

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Vampire the Masquerade 3

I’ve probably brought this up before, but Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines is one of the best RPGs ever made – at least one of the top 3 in my book. Despite technical flaws and questionable graphics, it cemented itself as an instant classic thanks to its marvelous art, voice-acting, lore and atmosphere. Sweet baby Buddha, no game has ever radiated such an immersive atmosphere! Immense amount of replay value too. Then Troika had to go extinct – and thus the Vampire games were lost. This tragedy is to gaming what the holocaust was to modern history.

Now, they ARE making an MMO, but that has been in development for near a decade now – so long that it actually missed the MMO age, which is now unquestionably on the decline. I find it hard to believe any game in that situation could turn out well. Besides, Vampire was never meant to be an MMO – the game was supposed to be concentrated, deepened; not watered down to allow for large-scale player interaction. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that it’s the kind of game you want to experience alone, so that you can selfishly take pleasure in delving into the World of Darkness.

What I find truly infuriating is that nobody seems to be willing to pick up the fallen mantle of Troika and continue their work! The gaming community NEEDS this!

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Half-Life 2: Episode 3

Yeah. 7 years of total silence. Sequels for all of ValvE’s other franchises. Hell, they even made friggin’ DOTA 2 before they finished Half-Life. If Troika’s demise was the holocaust of gaming, than this is its Amelia Earhart. If Episode 3 ever sees the light of day, Valve better have a damn good reason for it taking this long.

My Reaction to the Xbox One Reveal

Seriously though, if I were to sum up the entire event with one word? Tacky. The people presenting the different aspects of the new Xbox were completely detached from their target audience – I doubt that any of them have ever touched an Xbox for anything other than CoD or a generic EA Sports title, and yet THEY are the ones presenting a device which is supposed to mark a new milestone in gaming (supposed being the operative word). They couldn’t even do the public speaking bit properly – either they were reading from a prompter, or they had painstakingly memorized a badly written script which they stubbornly refused to deviate from, resulting in a stale, unengaged and generally pathetic performance.

Zero passion, all business. Generic sales talk with no actual content. A presentation devoid of anything original. I’m getting sick of Microsoft and their obsession with picking their ideas off the Apple tree – delivering shiny “designer tech” which actually consists of the same old crap you already have, but in a new fancy wrapper. With touch. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against optimizing and streamlining existing tech in order to make it more effective, or easier to use, but what I am against is making Xbox the means to this particular end. Xbox is supposed to be a game console, whereas this new abomination is a glorified, stationary Windows tablet.

This wasn’t the birth of a new Xbox, it was the death and subsequent funeral of the entire concept of Xbox as a game console – and the MCs couldn’t even dress properly for the occasion:

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Sneakers, with a suit? The height of douchebaggery.

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This guy, trying to hide his beer belly by not tucking his shirt in. It’s laughable. Lucky for him, Xbox one comes with integrated Kinect!

For those of you who need a recap, watch this perfect summary of the event:

Fabulous Fiends of Gaming

Literature has long since provided us with an abundance of  engrossing antagonists that appall, fascinate and charm us still (well, those of us who still read at least). Iago, Count Dracula, Mrs Coulter, Dorian Gray, Sauron, Satan – the literary hall of villainy is well-established, well-loved, and well-known. However, game villains don’t seem to earn the same amount of infamy or morbid respect as their cousins in print do – granted, it is a much younger, much less studied medium, but now that games are on the rise and becoming more established in our society, I think it prudent to examine the pantheon of  rakes and rogues that have defined the modern gaming experience. Hopefully I’ll be publishing a new list in the near future, as I thought of lots more villains when I was writing this.

In short, here are the antagonists that I’d send a card or a mug to on International Villain’s Day. In no particular order. Yet.

May contain spoilers!

Paxton Fettel/Alma Wade – F.E.A.R

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Ok, an unstable, psychic, cannibalizing commando with a battalion of expert soldiers that he can control with his mind which, coincidentally, is linked to the mind of his homicidal maniac of a mother, Alma. Hellbent on destroying the organization responsible for Project Origin, which essentially revolved around torturous experiments on Alma with the aim of exploiting her unmatched psionic abilities, he wreaks both physical and paranormal havoc and eats the corpses of the project leaders. Cliché as it might sound, I think the “rough childhood” excuse can be applied as a justification for Paxton’s actions. As understandable as his cause may be however, the fact remains that he is a danger to everyone and must be taken down – your job, incidentally.

Alma Wade and Son is/are the scariest villain(s) I have ever had to deal with. Ever. They made me afraid to turn corners, to enter dark rooms, to do much of anything really. Seeing as I was armed to the teeth with lead-launching contraptions and a bullet-time ability, that’s saying a whole damn lot. They will whisper to you from the dark, they will appear right in front of you as you turn a corner, they will make you hallucinate like a soothsayer on morphine, and more than once, they will have you at their mercy. Oh and, Paxton also happens to be your brother, which would make Alma your mother. This makes it all the wrong kinds of weird when Alma then proceeds to rape you, in a first-person hallucination, and effectively impregnates herself. So she’s the Mother Mary from hell who comes around to literally mind-fuck you.

Arthas Menethil – Warcraft III

From skeletal goat-riding avenger to zombie-commanding popsicle.

From skeletal goat-riding avenger to zombie-commanding popsicle.

Arthas, son of the King of Lordaeron, paladin mentee of Uther Such-and-such, golden-haired champion of truth, justice, and the Amer… I mean Loradaeronian way. Not for long.

When the undead plague came to Lordaeron, Arthas was sent to investigate and eliminate the source.  Unfortunately, the threat was greater than they realized (like way greater), before long shit started hitting the fan real hard. Arthas found the culprit, the Dreadlord Mal’Ganis who in a classic evil mastermind-fashion informed him that the plague of undeath was unleashed at the command of the Lich King of Northrend, and that Lordaeron was doomed.

So what does Arthas do? He decides that he’d better cut out the tumor to prevent the cancer from spreading, and thus he slaughters an entire city in order to hem the plague, before running off to Northrend with his army to kick Mal’Ganis in his Mal’Ganises. He finds it a tough conquest however, and in order to gain the power he needs to defeat Mal’Ganis and save his realm he comes up with the bright idea of claiming the cursed runeblade Frostmourne, which simply put makes him a slave of the Lich King. He then later becomes the Lich King, after having returned to Lordaeron, murdered his father and turning the population into an undead army. Boomshakalaka. Now, Arthas the Lich King, the man who I raised to evil glory, is free to be killed by any random twelve-year old with a half-decent PC – I hate WoW.

I find Arthas intriguing as a villain, mainly because I was there from the beginning. I witnessed his transformation from goodie two-shoes to Lord of Darkness, and I helped him destroy everything he fought for, and everyone he fought with. I sympathize with him. In a very, very crooked way, Arthas has always embodied the virtue of following your heart and doing what you think is right. He is a character driven solely by passion, by ideology, and I find his villainy admirable. Plus he’s got wicked cool armour.

G-Man – Half-Life Series

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Who is G-man? What is G-man? We’re not sure, other than some sort of omniscient shriveled dude with a speech impediment. All we know is that he locked Gordon Freeman in some sort of time-stopping limbo closet, which prevented him from aging between Half-Life 1 and 2, when he freed Gordon. Presumably this was in order for Gordon to take down Dr. Breen and free City 17 from Combine occupation, but we can’t even be entirely sure about that either. We do know that Gordon (with the help of the Vortigaunts) eluded G-man when he attempted to put him back in Limbo at the end of Half-Life 2, and that seems to have made him quite peeved in the sequels. We also know that he has some sort of connection to Eli Vance, though Eli’s death sort of eliminated any possibility of getting answers there.

What makes G-man a great villain? Mystery. We know nothing of his motives, or those of his mysterious “employers” that he keeps referring to, we don’t know how he got his powers (and we don’t really know what those powers are either) – we don’t even know if he’s really a villain per se. He’s the big unknown in the Half-Life equation, and we’re all waiting to find out what and most importantly, why, he is.

GLaDOS – Portal

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GLaDOS is many things – jailor, caretaker, psychopathic mother-figure, AI comedian. I’m not going to go into much detail because she’s so famous, and rightly so. What’s not to love about being locked in a lab complex with a creepy computer with a God-complex that runs experiments on you? The brilliance of GLaDOS is that despite her subtle homicidal tendencies and generally maniacal disposition is that you have to work with her to get out, and in a really messed up way, you end up relying on her. She is an ambiguous antagonist that puts Orwell’s Big Brother to shame.

The Arishok – Dragon Age II

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The Arishok is a criminally underrated villain. Probably because he stars in an underrated game that everyone hates, except me. He’s stranded in Kirkwall until he can perform his duty and return an artifact stolen from his people. This endeavor takes time however, and before long the disgust he feels towards the corrupt and degenerate human society causes him to take matters into his own hands, and cleanse Kirkwall from the human disease.

I’m actually surprised that Monsieur Arishok hasn’t garnered more attention, considering the theme of his social crusade. He criticizes the consumerist nature of human society, and he does it very well too. A memorable moment for me was when he stands before the nobles of Kirkwall after having beheaded the viscount, and tells them that all they do is “feed and feed and complain only when (their) meal is interrupted!” – and you know what? He’s got a point. I was rather disappointed that I had to fight him, because his critique of our society is justified. We are selfish, greedy, and obsessed with material wealth and social standing – integrity and higher purpose are usually secondary values or goals when humans are concerned, and this is reflected in the world of Dragon Age, where money and power drive people to heinous acts of cruelty, and apathy and corruption run rampant.

However, the Arishok is also morally significant in the sense that he demonstrates what the wrong approach to fixing these problems are. He serves as an example of the futility and injustice of forcing one’s beliefs upon someone else. He’s a sort of noble fascist, and despite the flaws in his methods and his own beliefs, he holds up a mirror to our own morality, and that of our society as a whole. Thus, the Arishok provides sorely needed reflection on the human condition and its consequences.

Plus, he’s just a total badass in general.

The Dragonborn Goes Sightseeing.

At the risk of becoming one of those lazy Tumblr bloggers, I thought I’d share some screenshots from a recent Skyrim session. There I was, gathering thistles and troll fat for a new batch of potions, when I encountered some positively marvelous scenery that I just had to preserve, courtesy of the alternate sunglare, dense vegetation, immersive rain, and Minty’s lightning  mods.

I have a thing for rain and overcast skies...

I have a thing for rain and overcast skies…

Riverwood in a thunderstorm

Riverwood in a thunderstorm

Valtheim, I think? Used to be full of pesky bandits. Then I killed them and took all their stuff.

Valtheim, I think? Used to be full of pesky bandits. Then I killed them and took all their stuff.

The peak on which Bleak Falls Barrow is situated.

The peak on which Bleak Falls Barrow is situated.

Amazing how much of a difference a single mod can make!

Amazing how much of a difference a single mod can make!

You wouldn't think so, but there are two bloodthirsty vampire lumberjacks living in that cottage...

You wouldn’t think so, but there are two bloodthirsty vampire lumberjacks living in that cottage…

Sorry for the rather obscene lack of words, but this is directed to other Dragonborn who know where I’m coming from, and who enjoy traipsing around the wilds of Skyrim for the eye-candy as much as I do!

A Survivor is Born (also, poop).

The best thing about having a blog that nobody reads is that you can post whenever the hell you want and not disappoint anyone! This time however, work got in the way. Another great thing about a blog that nobody reads is that nobody cares either, so that horrible first sentence is excused automatically. I’ll get to the point now.

The Survivor referenced in the title is none other than me, and what it means is that I completed Tomb Raider (it’s the name of an achievement by the way (not the poop bit though),  not just some corny line I made up in an attempt to make this post seem badass). So yes, Tomb Raider is done, and I must say that it is easily one of my favourite games of 2013. There was never a dull moment in Tomb Raider – I haven’t had so much fun with a game for a while actually. Also, as I’ve mentioned several times before, it is absolutely gorgeous. Here’s a picture to remind you:

 

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and since that one was so pretty, let’s just take another…

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So yes, Tomb Raider was great, BUT! One thing that struck me was that despite following Lara every step of the journey, from her hunting for food to eating and sleeping and feeling miserable, she never ever sees to her uglier needs. Lara does not take a single whizz or dump throughout the entire game. It’s not even implied that she sneaks away off camera to cleanse her system. Nope. Women don’t poop. It’s no big deal really, but it struck me as… odd. It’s not like it breaks the game or anything, so I’ll just leave it as a curious observation. To take your minds off that, here’s another pretty screen shot!

 

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So, the ending hinted at enough for me to be extremely excited for the next entry in this reinterpretation of Lara Croft – one thing though, Crystal Dynamics – GIVE ME MOOOAARR TOMBS TO RAID!

 

 

MOAR Tomb Ray-durr Shots

I just can’t help myself – when I play Tomb Raider I simply have to take screenshots all the time, because there’s always something gorgeous on that screen! Now I want to share these moments, so, tada!

 

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Real life has a serious rival here…

Eye-Candy Extraordinaire!

Opinions vary quite a bit when it comes to the latest Tomb Raider, and though I agree with a lot of the criticism out there, I can’t help but loving it! Partly because it’s just so much fun to play, and partly because well – just LOOK how nglsdfnlsdf PRETTY it is! I spend at least a quarter of my game session just ogling at the amazing scenery, Lara’s hair, and the incredibly atmospheric weather renditions. Positively drool-worthy!

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On an unrelated note, I think Lara Croft is a really great character. Not just her iconic status, but just her attitude, her values – her character makes her a great character. She’s a strong woman, without being bitchy and militantly feminist about it, she has a geeky fascination with her profession resulting in a wonderful enthusiasm in the midst of whatever trouble she gets herself into, she’s intelligent and extremely knowledgeable in her field, she doesn’t dress like a total skank and in this particular game, she has normal-sized breasts (as opposed to the walking melon vine in Legend). Essentially, Lara radiates humanity over gender, and in a society where game heroines seem to be increasingly “sexualized”, Lara Croft really sets an example; a goal to strive towards.

In short, she’s my kind of girl – smart, badass, beautiful, and most importantly, waaaaaay out of my league. (“Stop. She’s a game character. Don’t talk about her like this. No. You’re sad. She’s not real. She’s NOT!”)

So play it, love it, and gorge yourselves on eye-candy!